the 9 to 5. or in my case, noon to 8.

it's been a long time since i've just bitched about anything on my blog, so why not go ahead and take over zuzu's space for one post and do it? yeah!

why do we do what we do? you know, us. teachers, people who work with youth, educators, people dedicated to young people and their potential... what's up with us? underpaid, undersupported, totally stressed out dealing with the bureaucracy of districts, government, boards and insane executive directors who have no business dealing with real people. it's really insane how much we put up with. it's gotten to a point where i don't even feel like i'm working hard for the young women i serve, but i'm working hard to provide stuff for my boss who is constantly interrupting what i'm doing to request a report, some stats, or ask lame rhetorical questions just to demean everyone and assert the authority she doesn't have. i'm sooooo done.

and she's only been there a month. yes, a month. if it's someone's professional job as an interim executive director to purposefully make life a living hell for everyone she encounters, she's got my reference. if the purpose is to fulfill the larger vision of uplifiting communities of women through knowledge, growth and love, you get big fat F, sister. it's unbelievable how quick we are to ditch our ideals and visions in times of crisis, and grab the nearest beast who can whip the organization/ school/ district/ agency into shape. what a way to further demoralize an already-severely demoralized staff.

we laid out my transition plan today, and it felt wonderful to finally establish an end date to my torture. i was offered a three month fully paid summer break to refresh and come back in september. if i had a bullhorn to utter my next words, i would have taken it out and put it up to her ear. i said, "there's no way. i need to leave." just the words "come back" and "september" made me throw up a little. i know i've given what i can, and am now giving way too much than i am willing and able to handle. they need someone new who has the capacity and energy to do it.

now, who knows. apparently this is the nature of non-profits. everyone hates the ED. everyone is severely underpaid. turnover is high. there's no upward mobility. this just might be the game. i find it hard to believe that this is the case. i have been part of organizations that weren't disfunctional. even this one at one point was incredibly strong. those were the times when the most meaningful work was done. i guess i'm going to stick with non-profit or education-related work for a little while... but then what?

i was watching animal planet yesterday, and asked perci, "what if i try to become a vet?" then i seriously considered what it would entail, as far as going back to school, and loans. THEN i saw them cut open a dog's leg to get out a tumor, and was DONE with the thought. i'm cool off the surgery, thanks. and can you imagine? i'd be so allergic i wouldn't be able to function properly. definitely not my next career move.

well, anyways, we'll see what the next month holds at this joint. i'm trying to get my most qualified fabulous women friends and colleagues in to revitalize and save the sinking ship. by then, the beast will have left, so i won't feel like i'd be bringing them into a toxic work environment.

thanks for listening to my rant. sorry i couldn't provide an insightful analysis or social commentary. just my 1 am complaining about the week to come.

just for sticking with me, here are some enjoyable pictures of gani to look at.