oh dear god. i thought my blogger account expired and got tossed because i hadn't logged on for so long. i've probably lost my entire audience. the five of you still there?

speaking of audience, i always felt like my blog was a way of keeping in touch with my family down in so cal, and some friends whose blogs i read in exchange. ok, just maricel. my sisters, my cousins and maricel. the only people that read my blog! there, i admit it. anyway, now that we're moving to west covina, it feels kind of weird to continue writing to an audience that i basically live with. up until now, i haven't really opened up my blog to many people, but now i'm realizing that reading someone's blog is such a great way to keep friends and family in the loop about your life, new developments, to see pictures of your child that grows at lightning speed, and give insight into yourself that they otherwise wouldn't necessarily know.

so now, i've got to flip the blog to keep folks up here in the bay updated on life down in so cal. this is going to require me to flip the approach... new layout, perhaps? i'm also thinking of setting it to private and only allowing invited people to read. what do you think? i'm also getting a little paranoid over how much information i'm putting out there into the world to read. i didn't trip at first, but now i'm starting to believe i'm this much closer to identity theft. i'm also putting my myspace page on private. i think i've found everyone i need to at this point. rambling on and on and on...

ANYWAY... what the hell was i talking about? well, as for an update to the family, so much change has been happening. we officially moved out of the madrid house at the end of june. it was really really really sad for a number of reasons. one, we loved that house, the people, the location, the energy and opportunities it opened up. i really believe that gani's relationship with lupita has somehow created this amazing, inexplicable chain of events that have allowed both of our families to survive and thrive. i love those two! and two, the papas perci and jose made these incredible creative pieces in tribute to our kids. perci wrote and recorded a song, and jose created a really elaborate slideshow and video. putting them together and watching it made it absolute torture to say goodbye. i feel like gani and lupita stabbed me in the throat with little baby daggers as punishment for separating them. augh. i'll upload the video, but i also have the song up on my myspace page right now. catch it before i change it!

being home is WONDERFUL, though. with all the transition and change, gani is just loving the fact that he has mama and papa 24-7 and his cousins and his titas and his uncles and a pool! man, that pool. if i could sleep in that thing, i would. but he really is adjusting well. you can't go wrong with having TOO many people loving you. like i've said, it seems like it's harder on the adults to transition than for him to, and it's true.

we're looking forward to the changes and opportunities that we're soon to face as we settle down in so cal. and we're so incredibly thankful for the friendships, opportunities and amazing experiences we've had up in frisco. we know it's not goodbye, so i'm not too sad. for god's sake, i'm up here right now, a week after moving! it doesn't feel like goodbye because we have so many family and friends and community that will forever bind us to both places. as gani said the other day, "papa, we're lucky. we have two homes." genius, i tell ya.

so tomorrow i'm traveling down, hoping to catch melon before she gives birth (hold her in, melon! just 12 more hours and i'll be there!) can't WAIT to see this little one! gani and perci will be kicking it up here for another week, saying their goodbyes and getting into some father/son trouble. and after that, life begins! unemployment, here we are!

here are some pictures i hijacked from other people who actually use their cameras. enjoy. (i now realize they're only two pictures. i'll find more later when i get my act together).

lupita (the birthday girl), claudia (our FAVORITE teacher) and little man

father's day at dolores park with the papas

hiatus.

yes, yes. i'm fine. just extraordinarily busy.

to keep you coming to my blog, here's a little incentive until i find the time to blog regularly.

enjoy. i know i will.

we were just speaking of american idol in melon's post. i commented how i've never watched one episode EVER but still know who all the finalists by name. so, i went to this kind of resource fair over at Yahoo!'s campus yesterday. the Yahoo! employee foundation funded our equipment costs last year, so they basically wanted us there to show their employees where their money was going. first of all, coming from non-profit, i of course was blown away at Yahoo!'s campus. it occupies maybe four blocks, and is filled with little perks all over to make their employees happy, like their huge workout facility and pool. i also went to buy a latte, and was so confused when she said, "oh, it's complimentary, maam". you know how productive i'd be if i had free lattes everyday?! we don't even get drinking water at my work!
anyway, Yahoo! threw this kind of picnic, in a small lawn area, with a bbq, raffle and performances. so who was the performer taking the stage? it was taylor hicks! like i said, i don't even watch idol, but i was pretty impressed. if idol actually showcased people's real talents, like songwriting and actual musical talents, rather than strictly performance, you'd probably find some real artists in there, rather than just the next new marketable face. anyway, i was as impressed with taylor hicks as much as i was impressed by Yahoo!'s compound. he was up there, singing his own songs, playing his own songs on his guitar, busting out the harmonica, and performing really really well. i guess country and bluegrass is his thing because he really focused on that and gave a good show. my attention span, of course, is really short, so i only really watched one song, but it was a good one!

stk show

"we reppin' haight street, b. this here's ma ro dawg, dino tha sore. don't sit on him. matter of fact, don't sit on neither of us, or i'm fit to suka on you."

here are more pictures of where we live. since NO ONE VISITS US!!! this is the infamous madrid street. our house is the one smack in the middle of the picture with the grey roof, yellow paint with red trim. gives you an idea of the calf workout i get walking to the car.

our incredible view through the back of the house. perci doing his weekend meditation before his upcoming performance. "oh, spirits of the excelsior, may i not forget my rhymes, may my crew be on beat, and may no one be wearing the same shirt i am. amen."

our front door! i have yet to take a picture of gani and lupita in front of the doors. i might just break down and cry hysterically. lupita's is the door to the left, and ours is the one to the right. so you can see that in the morning, we literally walk downstairs, gani steps outside and just turns around and knocks... forever. until someone opens.

at somarts before the "stop the killings" show to raise awareness and funds around a campaign to stop the political killings and human rights violations in the philippines. one of the best shows i've been to. it was just incredible to see all onstage such strong artists together... native guns, blue scholars, praxis roks, rhapsodistas, power struggle and echo of bullets... but also the pure dedication to put on and support the show was incredible. so many people volunteered their time, their art, their talents and resources to make this truly community-driven, and it indeed was amazing.

like a true fan, standing on his chair. 5 minutes later, he was a true 2 year old and threw a tantrum.

the 9 to 5. or in my case, noon to 8.

it's been a long time since i've just bitched about anything on my blog, so why not go ahead and take over zuzu's space for one post and do it? yeah!

why do we do what we do? you know, us. teachers, people who work with youth, educators, people dedicated to young people and their potential... what's up with us? underpaid, undersupported, totally stressed out dealing with the bureaucracy of districts, government, boards and insane executive directors who have no business dealing with real people. it's really insane how much we put up with. it's gotten to a point where i don't even feel like i'm working hard for the young women i serve, but i'm working hard to provide stuff for my boss who is constantly interrupting what i'm doing to request a report, some stats, or ask lame rhetorical questions just to demean everyone and assert the authority she doesn't have. i'm sooooo done.

and she's only been there a month. yes, a month. if it's someone's professional job as an interim executive director to purposefully make life a living hell for everyone she encounters, she's got my reference. if the purpose is to fulfill the larger vision of uplifiting communities of women through knowledge, growth and love, you get big fat F, sister. it's unbelievable how quick we are to ditch our ideals and visions in times of crisis, and grab the nearest beast who can whip the organization/ school/ district/ agency into shape. what a way to further demoralize an already-severely demoralized staff.

we laid out my transition plan today, and it felt wonderful to finally establish an end date to my torture. i was offered a three month fully paid summer break to refresh and come back in september. if i had a bullhorn to utter my next words, i would have taken it out and put it up to her ear. i said, "there's no way. i need to leave." just the words "come back" and "september" made me throw up a little. i know i've given what i can, and am now giving way too much than i am willing and able to handle. they need someone new who has the capacity and energy to do it.

now, who knows. apparently this is the nature of non-profits. everyone hates the ED. everyone is severely underpaid. turnover is high. there's no upward mobility. this just might be the game. i find it hard to believe that this is the case. i have been part of organizations that weren't disfunctional. even this one at one point was incredibly strong. those were the times when the most meaningful work was done. i guess i'm going to stick with non-profit or education-related work for a little while... but then what?

i was watching animal planet yesterday, and asked perci, "what if i try to become a vet?" then i seriously considered what it would entail, as far as going back to school, and loans. THEN i saw them cut open a dog's leg to get out a tumor, and was DONE with the thought. i'm cool off the surgery, thanks. and can you imagine? i'd be so allergic i wouldn't be able to function properly. definitely not my next career move.

well, anyways, we'll see what the next month holds at this joint. i'm trying to get my most qualified fabulous women friends and colleagues in to revitalize and save the sinking ship. by then, the beast will have left, so i won't feel like i'd be bringing them into a toxic work environment.

thanks for listening to my rant. sorry i couldn't provide an insightful analysis or social commentary. just my 1 am complaining about the week to come.

just for sticking with me, here are some enjoyable pictures of gani to look at.

birthday fun

who knew adult birthdays could be so fun for kids? last weekend was uncle jose's birthday (lupita's papi). it was perfect, with the food, cake, company.... for the kids, they had special treats of chocolate-covered marshmallow lolipops, balloons and bubbles, followed by several rounds of hitting a 4-foot pinata of the chivas mascot. and for the adults, corona and patron followed by several rounds of hitting a 4-foot pinata of the chivas mascot. fun times, fun times. it's nice to have a full belly of delicious food, a sugar rush and be drunk, and just have to stumble upstairs when it's all done.

halloween pictures in april

my friend tena forwarded these pictures of the kids from halloween. i don't know if i told many of you guys, but halloween was a stressful day. it was the day we moved into our new place, so after having moved all day, we rushed to take gani to the mall with lupita, and met up with ronald and orlando to do some trick or treating. the pictures say it all. gani is in no way amused with halloween, except for the chocolate that he collected (and we still have stashed away somewhere). what was great was that johnny boy shared his tigger costume from 10 years ago with gani to wear. thanks, johnny! he otherwise would not have had a costume.

when we got to the mall, he was really confused, and kind of irritated. he refused to wear the tigger head, so he just wandered around in a tigger body and had this attitude like, "what IS this? why is everyone so weird looking?" and by the time we got to the mall, all the stores ran out of candy. apparently the mall is the place to be at halloween because it was packed! gani, lupita, orlando and ronald have been together since they were one, back in room one when they were infants. now they're in the transition room! *tear* and they're such big kids now, it's crazy. and lupita and ron even have little siblings now! how time flies by.

i don't know what's up with these pictures, but there's big white spaces. here are mamas and papas relaxing while the kids ran around with their sugar high.

i forgot the funny picture!

melon was right! i left out the best one! with joie and her belly button!

really really late pictures

i was wondering where these pictures went. i finally found the pictures from christmas... yes, CHRISTMAS! and they're so cute, i just have to share them. there's a lot, that's why they're so small. first, here's lolo and lola with all the apos standing beautifully in front of the tree.

now, here's what the house really looks like. kalat and chaos. but so much fun for the kids.

and after all the presents are opened, and all the food is eaten, the kiddies change into their pj's and wait for santa, watching "christmas story" for the seventh time on tbs. (it wouldn't be christmas eve without it!)



and while the kids do fun, yet slightly dangerous, stuff like this...

the adults do not-so-fun, but MORE dangerous stuff like this...

um, is somebody watching the kids?

"is thiiiis a two sticks?" (it's been a long time, hasn't it, mitor?)

and everyone has a wonderful wonderful time! even these little jail birds. notice the smear of little fingerprints on the bottom right corner of the lens. sticky christmas hands.

i bet this will be the last christmas he's shorter than perci

mmmmm.... SARAP! my christmas dessert!

and the twins say, "merry christmas to all, and to all a good night". THE END.

point your fingers and do da twist!

melon called me one day months ago, all excited, telling me that she bought tickets to see the wiggles show live. it was such a wonderful idea, and i knew gani would love it so much, so once that tax return money came in, i bought us three tickets to go see them! perci unfortunately couldn't make it. he's been in a really clumsy/bad luck streak lately. first, the shoulder. then it's been sickness after sickness (food poisoning and two bad flus), and just recently he got rear ended and had headaches from it. basically, missing work for the wiggles wasn't an option. so i ended up taking gani and lupita. baby diego (her little brother) JUST arrived last monday [CONGRATULATIONS!!!] , so i thought it'd be nice to give mami and papi and break and take her to something fun while they rested.

so in the rush of the day, we get to oakland with plenty of time to spare when, of course, PARKING! the show started at 3:00 and it was getting close, with no parking. i was even going into the businesses around the theater asking if i could pay them to park in their lots. i finally convinced one guy to let me *squeeze* into this corner space that wasn't even a parking space just so we could get there on time. and in all the commotion... i forgot my camera in the car. so unfortunately, no pictures, but i'm trying to make this as entertaining as possible. (the pictures shown are "borrowed" from another mommy's blog who was organized enough to bring her camera to at the show).


so as we finally got in the theater, the wiggles had already taken the stage and were just starting "big red car". i swear, i got so excited, i started running in the lobby, leaving the kids in the dust. they were totally lagging behind, completely confused like, where are we? and why am i running? is that the wiggles i hear? then i opened the door to the theater, the song came pouring out into the lobby, and you could see the stage all bright and lit up with colors, and i looked at gani to see his expression. he looked like i opened the door to heaven. he was so excited! lupita was totally excited too, and she doesn't even watch the wiggles!


so unlike melon's experience (sorry, melon, you had to go through that), ours was really kick back and pleasant! i was really worried because she called me the night before to warn me about the chaos that broke out at the wiggles concert, so i was ready to bring leashes for the two. but it was fine. it was at the paramount theater in oakland, which is one of those really small, old theaters, and it was in the middle of the day, so it wasn't so crowded. i expected gani to get all hyper and throw up from dancing, but he was completely mesmerized by the show. he didn't even dance, he was so entranced. they basically stood up the entire time in front of me with their chins resting on the seats in front of them, captivated throughout the whole show. and then at the end, they started fighting over whether to put a seat up or down, and they lost focus. but it was perfect timing because it was during the last song.

overall, it was a really good show! i got to see jeff and captain feathersword really close up, which was pretty cool. i don't know why, maybe it's because i watch them every frickin day of my life, and i finally got to see them in person. what was sad was to not see greg. :( gani even asked me halfway through, "mama, where's greg?". i didn't think he'd notice! but sam actually did a really really good job of taking his place. you can tell they even trained his voice to mimic greg's in the more popular songs. then he was free to use his sam voice for the other songs that weren't so familiar. and props to the wiggles for even doing this for as long as they have. they're super old! by the end, murray was soaking in sweat and panting while he was thanking the audience and saying bye.

the highlights of the show were:
-seeing benny dance live (that boy is cracked out, i think that's why he's so thin and hyper)
-murray playing "stairway to heaven"
-the sign in the audience that read, "dylan's mommy thinks anthony is hubba-hubba-hubba" (hello! inappropriate mom!)

i had so much fun (as you can tell). i wished another adult went with me so i could debrief with them! that's why this post is so long, i guess. anyway, it ended with a trip to mall for treats since the two monkeys were so well behaved the whole time. soft serve and a nibbler each from mrs. fields. followed, of course, by meltdowns as the sugar and excitement wore off. thanks, wiggles, for a great time!

two and a half

ok, finally new pictures! i just recently decided to go back to using film. i got tired of never being able to upload my pictures because every computer i work on is ancient and can't handle all the photos. then today, i developed a roll at ritz and to my absolute horror... the total was $16.25! no doubles, just singles with a cd. wow. back to digital it is! in any case, here are some beautiful pictures of the zuzu.

"i'm a rebel!" look at this BIG GUY. i swear, i never notice how big he's actually getting until i look at pictures like these. not only does he look big, but he's starting to do daring things like balancing on the edge of step stools without me looking. two and a half is a tough age. when he turned two, he started with the tantrums. now it's turned into outright defiance. "no like it, mama!" or "no, papa!", followed by him running away from us and throwing his body on the floor in another room is a common everyday thing in our house. it's so frustrating. but it's comforting to hear the very same sounds coming from downstairs too (incoherent adult voice, followed by a loud "NO!", followed by rapid running of little feet, followed by the cries of punished child). good to know we're not the only ones going through it, and that it's just a phase.

here he is contemplating the meaning of life. or just looking at the crows outside.

this is his sunny day gear. pamper and long hair. he absolutely hates changing into clothes. it's the same routine every morning and after bath. he'll scream at putting pants on and hide under the sheets because he loves being naked under them. what an island boy.

and this is his rainy day gear. apparently at school, they play outside regardless of what the weather is like, so on rainy days, he has to go looking like this. he looks like he's about to do some construction work. but he loves his new rainboots, and based on last year (30+ days of straight rain last march), we're going to put those boots to good use!

i haven't posted pictures of what our new flat looks like, so here are a couple. basically, it's sturctured like a mini hotel. one big, long hallway with rooms off to the sides. i'll post more pictures when my other roll of film is developed. bleh. i'm taking them to walgreens.

and finally, here's the zuzu and papa having a ball torturing each other. they like to wrestle and body slam each other, to my extreme dismay. i always seem to get caught up in the middle of their wrestling bouts, and someone always ends up mad (me), or with a bloody mouth (gani), or getting kicked in the privates and gets mad (guess?). you can dish it out, but ya can't take it!


gani putting papa in his famous feet of fury headlock. those feet are lethal!

madrid represent!

no, not spain. but the excesior district's madrid st. our new place. sorry for the brief brief post, but here are cute pictures to share of gani and lupita. enjoy.